i dont know what's wrong with blogger / my internet.
argh. annoying:/
this week seem to have passed so quickly.
i dont know what's wrong with me this entire week.
i keep thinking about stuff that are unimportant and what i may say, stupid.
and its not just the mere thought of it!
it troubles me a lot, like practically the entire day.
i get very paranoid over small issues.
everything i do, i'd think about how others would think etc.
and then it'll affect me a lot if i have negative thoughts.
why should i even care about others?!
i have no idea.
one
recently 2 pretty old friends of mine were published in a mag.
i just thought of catching up with them, so i added them on facebook.
i sent both of them an email (through facebook), asking them how are they etc.
but all of a sudden, a thought came to my mind.
it just seems like that's a third party speaking in me.
that person in me said,
"now that they're "famous" already then you start making friends with them again. others will think that you're trying to stuck up to them."
moreover, one of them didnt reply my mail.
that made me felt worst!
but the point is, none of them ever said that to me!
on my part, i believe i'm being too sensitive.
i really dont know why i actually have that mindset.
well, at least i know that if i'm witnessing this whole issue as a third party, i definitely wont see anything wrong with trying to catch up with your old friends.
but i just cant seem to convince myself not to think so pessimistically.
two
and i'm starting to feel worried for people whom i know, not studying.
but come on, not like i'm progressing well in my studies too huh?!
i shouldnt even be bothering about others when i myself cant cope, should i?
there's like never ending list of homework and class tests!
but instead, i will start worrying for him/her.
three
school's becoming very stressful:/
with almost up to five tests a week, and so little time to study.
i really want to do well in my tests, but the thing is, i really dont have the time to study.
and it's not like i can actually not do my homework.
right now, although i dont watch tv like i used to when i got home in the past, i still feel that everything's so packed!
there's just not enough time to complete my homework.
and this really frustrates me a lot.
because, i really really wana do well...
four
there are so many things to settle in the class right now.
other than the class com, i feel like i'm facing this all alone.
i never used to think this way, but right now, i think the class is just selfih (to a certain extent).
i really want to get things done asap, but i just scant seem to get the cooperation from them.
it just seems like all that's important to them now is studies.
but hello? i need to study to, dont i?
why cant we just settle all this together once and for all?
but, on the other hand, i am the class chair.
why should i be complaining?:/
(i just contradicted myself again.)
okay, i'm lazy to continue the list.
and i'm super stressed up now.
like O's is so soon and i'm not prepared:/
plus all the other issues (which is quite a lot) bothering me at the same time, it just makes me feel more and more demoralized and stressed:/
as the weeks go by, kelly gets more and more tired!!! Argh:(
oh, and i'm pretty annoyed also by what a couple and another family said about us today!
Super irritating!
famous amos doesnt cheer me up anymore:/